Sexual marriage experience: marriage for eight years, no seven years, I lived with my husband into a shared room friend

Sexual marriage experience: marriage for eight years, no seven years, I lived with my husband into a shared room friend

The article begins, please think carefully this question: Can you accept asexual marriage?

Sexual marriage seems to be more common, because of too private, few people are willing to explore the reasons, and gradually become the "secret" of the whole society.

In order to visit people who are inseparable marriage, we found 3 anonymous people and talk about their experiences.

First, what kind of feelings are in a hazy marriage?

@ 时 微寒:

I married my husband for 8 years, 7 years of no marriage, now thinking is too terrible!

We were very harmonious in the first year of marriage, and later gave birth to children. He said that he went to sleep too heavy, he was afraid of affecting me to sleep, and I slept in the room, until now.

During my countless requests, he refused. After the heart is cold, I will feel that he and others have sent information, from that, I have never mentioned a request. Now we are like living tenants, there is a name of husband and wife, no husband and wife.

@ 混 混:

On the surface, I am very good to have a good relationship with my husband. In fact, the dark tide is surging.

I quarreled before, he pushed me, although I came to apologize, but my heart has always thought, but also very contradictory: Divorce? It seems that I have not yet reached this point. Not divorced? We have been cold in 7 months, and there is no husband and wife live in 7 months. Hey, what should I do?

@ 姥:

I have a big shape, the appearance is good, I can't say how handsome, but it should be more than 80% of boys. I like the goddess in the class, with excellent conditions, successfully chased her. After graduation, I became a doctor, soon married the goddess.

In the eyes of relatives and friends, we are a pair of gods. Unfortunately, the goddess has been breast cancer in the past few years, which is indispensable, and one treatment is more than 3 years.

In these three years, I have been working hard to get used to there is a day without couples, because the drug side effects, the goddess has not demand, the chest is also deformation, and I don't want to contact me intimate contact. I also always treat her as a patient, no longer have the original feelings ...

First, explore the causes of asexual marriage

Sexual marriage does not mean the marriage of a couple who lives, but refers to the birth of a couple, and later become less, even zero marriage. Sociologists believe that the standard of hazardous marriage is no couple in a month, or less than 10 times a year.

Some people have done a survey, in 3,824 ages at the age of 20-64, cohabited or married, a month below once, a ratio of 28.7%.

A psychological research statistics show that the Asian husband and wife have a shortest time, take Japan as an example, couple life from harmony, an average of more than 2 years, among which asexual marriage exceeds 35%, ranking first in Asia, Keeping follows by 25% of China, asexual marriage.

For different classes, the proportion of hazardous marriage is also different. Overall, the city is higher than the countryside, the big city is higher than the small city. According to Pan Shan's investigation, Chinese white-collar women's hazardous marriage ratio is 43%.

Famous Chinese scholars, Li Yinhe, Li Yinhe, pointed out that inextric marriage is universal. She believes that the universality of the hazardous marriage is very important, and the cause is attributed to the following three points:

1, physiological barrier

Male dysfunction or female demand is cold, and for middle-aged men, dysfunction is more common. For women, the problem of sexual cold is easy to neglect, because women are more passive, very much attention, but in fact, this is an incorrect phenomenon.

2, the relationship rupture

If you don't care, there is no relationship that you can always keep "temperature." In various relationships, the changes in the relationship between husband and wife are most obvious. The two sides have been in a long time, gradually aesthetically fatigue, and there may be unfaithful situations, leading to emotional rupture, marriage, and unity or destroy.

Some husband and wife are flat, but they are in the heart, but they are surging their grievances, resentment, anger and other emotions, "seven years itch" is not just talking.

3, life pressure

After marriage, the husband and wife no longer only focus on talking to love, being mortgage, car loan, child tuition fees, old man medicine, etc. All exhaust, have no time to take care of the couple.

This is also the reason why many personnel have become, but still caught in a wedding marriage. Some people are forced to live, husband and wife have to separate, there are fewer reunion times, no feelings are satisfied, and it will produce strange feelings, and push marriage to inevitably.

Third, caught in sexual marriage, what should I do?

What should I do if it is suffering from hazardous marriage? Some people choose to divorce, look for the next one; some people choose to have passed, do not change; some people actively communicate, think about solving. In the face of asexual marriage, you should act, instead of continuing to indulge in and suffering!

The first step, first find ways to communicate.

In a hazy marriage, most of the couple choose "not sound", avoid this, only a few couples use a joke tips to the other party. The primary solution of asexual marriage is to communicate with each other and face each other, find out the cause, not to escape.

In the second step, start action.

Most of the hazardous marriages, the surface looks less sex, in fact, it is less expression. The husband and wife should form the correct concept, not "sex" as a shameful thing, when you have a demand, you should actively expose, not waiting.

In addition, there can be planned to plan a habit of life and form a habit. For couples with physiological disorders, they should be actively seeking treatment. When the disease is controlled, it may usher in a new middle-aged life. The third step is to increase your life.

The husband and wife have been in a long time, it is inevitable that it will be tired of psychology, adding a lot of fun to life, and can produce freshness. Some entertainment activities are properly carried out, such as traveling together, watching movies, seeing performances, and improving the feelings of emotional concentrations, increasing life.

In fact, inextric marriage is not the final ending of marriage, just a bottleneck encountered. Since encountering, both husband and wife want to work hard, not to hear anything, being passive.

How long have you been living in a husband and wife? Is there an idea that changed this status quo?


[1] Every four couples in China are amorgeous, one, 2019-03-31

[2] Why is there a no marriage more and more? What is the cause of hazardous marriage? Li Yinhe .2020-04-10

[3] Li Yinhe: What should I do if I can't fall into a hazardous marriage?湃 新. .2020-04-29

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